raising cate

Cate. Now with Wings. Valentine's Day Pictures 2009. Volume I of III

Taking pictures of an infant is comical to say the least. I took at least 100 pictures in eight or so minutes. Half of the time she spent eating the tutu. And who can blame her?

This is my February Creative Resolution. Because I have spent waaayyyy too much time on it.

This really is volume on of three. Seriously, if you don't like pictures of a baby in a tutu-you've come to the wrong place.

because sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

So, we've done the unthinkable. Well, what was unthinkable four months ago.

We found one of our dogs, Cricket, a new home. I still can't believe it.

This is why I thought think you all might hate me. (though I can't imagine and/or don't care if anyone did). Those of you who thought it was that I was not going to blog are funny. Seriously. Would anyone miss my woe is me posts or those involving bodily secretions?!?

(how funny is this picture? she looked like this at least twice a week when we got home from work.)

Today, our first day without two dogs, was one of the calmest we've had in months.

I decided it to do it-or at least see if we could- in the last couple of weeks. It's not that we don't love Cricket, because we do. Which is why I cried on the way home.

Cricket added too much chaos. She dug 15 or so 3x2, 3 feet deep trenches in the two year old sod in the back yard. That promptly gathers water which she then jumps in and thus gets red mud all over herself. This wasn't an issue when we could wash her everyday-but with a baby it was just too much. So then she had to stay out outside-or in the finished basement from the dog door. And Winston, our other dog, had to stay with her. Which meant we had two dogs that weren't as happy as they should have been.

Which is why she drug so much mud into our two year old finished basement-and ruined the carpet. She even dug through carpet, the liner to the sub floor. All in all, it will easily cost us thousands to re-floor and -oh I forgot-to do the sheet rock that she clawed with so much red mud that it would bleed through any paint should we paint over it.

I feel bad saying all of that-because all those things that makes sense-but what really made her and Winston together too much to take-was their constantly wrestling. They always did it around Cate, and sometimes they hit the swing while she was in it. And their barks freaked her out and always woke her up during the middle of a nap.

So, it wasn't so much Cricket as it was Winston and Cricket together. They got so jealous that you couldn't even pet one without the other trying to jump all over you. Bringing home Cate and the resulting even more divided attention made it even worse. They had to sleep in the dog area downstairs-because two dogs is too many in the family bed.

While I sobbed on the way home from giving her to the other family and even had to fight the urge to call them to go back to get her---I know that we've done the right thing. And for the right family. Though, I told them should it not be a good fit that we'd be happy to take her back with no questions.

The family that adopted Cricket, has three kids, and a farm and need a dog who digs. (Cricket is a Carin terrier mix-who used to be bred to be rat dogs-thus the digging.) Most of all-this sweet family had a sad little boy whose dog died in October who visited his dog's grave everyday in the backyard. Apparently said little boy hugged Cricket all the way home,

and all three kids fought over

who would get to sleep with Cricket on her first night in her new home.

Today was better. So.much.less.chaos. It feels good to have made one of many hard decisions as a mom-and doing so without apology.

on a day in the life.

Yeah, pass me a drink. pronto. 

So this morning, after Cate made the decision to keep me awake for 10 hours.... it occurred to me that k and I failed to coordinate the nanny's schedule.

  

My entire neighborhood left to head to Washington. Poor me alone in neighborhood--my neighbors are evil--they like to have fun without me. 

 

This lack of nanny coordination wouldn't be a problem, except I needed to go to the office and said nanny doesn't not speak English. She is legal, so feel free to nominate me to the Supreme Court. 

I prayed to G-d and the heavens I hoped that she would show up to take Cate off of my hand  to rip my darling from my loving and patient arms. I thought she would show up at 8:30. Not so much. Which was fine with me, because honestly who wants to be an attorney when you've got a real cutie on your hands? Of course there are my clients  to attend to  who are  demanding and occasionally annoying are kind and appreciate my forced servitude work. 

About three minutes after I got ready to nurse Cate, the nanny showed up. I went to the door, opened it, which promptly set off the alarm. Which extra alerted the police who were notified that our almost empty neighborhood had had a break in just recently.

I won't bore the two of you who are still reading (G-d bless you) with the rest.   Mainly because I have just found the time to, er relieve my poor (.)(.)'s of the milk that has been there for hours. and hours. And I have to leave for court in ten minutes. 

one day you're you. the next day you're a mother.

The second you bring the little one home from the hospital you change.

     1. You’ll experience love like no other. From the second the little alien arrives in your arms, you’ll know that you love them more than anything. More than even your spouse. You will also know that your spouse loves the little alien more than you. That thought will make you happy.

2     2. In fact, you’ll know that you love them so much that you would die for them.

3. You will find patience you always knew you didn’t have.

4. You will try not to think about how much you love them, because it will always make you cry.

5. You will care less about everything in your life than the little one.

6. You will begin a battle with stink. Fighting smelling like sour milk. And baby pee. You will never win. You will eventually not care and give up the fight.

7. You will soon exaggerate all of your expressions. And talk in high pitch noises anytime little one is in the room. Though you might forget and say “daddy is sheepie.” When your spouse falls asleep on the couch long after little one has retired to her crib.

8. You will find out what exhaustion is. You will fall asleep on the toilet. During the three seconds you are peeing. You will wake up in strange places, most often the nursery floor.

9. You will quit watching the news and any and all crime shows. Because they might involve someone harming a child.

10. You will leave the house with baby spit up on your suit and try to remember to wipe it off at a red light on the way to work.

11. You will learn to say no to people who ask things of you. Except your little one.

12. You will love your mom more.

13. You will sneak into little one’s room to make sure that they are breathing. Probably until they leave the house for college.

14. You will realize what a potty mouth you have. And you will start saying “darnit” a lot.

15. You will love your spouse more. And try to make them love you more. You will do everything in your power to make your marriage strong.

16. You will suddenly look older. Sleep deprivation does that. You won’t care.

17. You will eat better. Bad eating habits may make you leave this world sooner and everything in your being wants to starve that off as long as possible.

18. You will suddenly start spending less money on you. You will add to your savings.

19. You will find yourself smiling at the thought of little one. Every time you think of them. Which is all day.

More than anything you will wonder how freaking lucky you are to have this little one in your life..

resolved.

what are your new year's resolutions?

mine. I resolve some sort of resolution every year. I like that it's not only a new year but a also the start of my next year on the planet as my birthday is New Year's Eve. I try to make them goals that I can achieve.

so, in no particular order.....

1. to do something creative at least once a month. I've realized that my pregnancy and raising Cate for three months cut out a year of my creative life. Of course, it was and is worth every second. I need to be creative to live a full life. 

2. to learn the technology that I own. I have an ipod, mac, a professional photo printer, microsoft money. photoshop. video editing software, a camera, etc....and the sad part is that I don't utilize half the potential of any of them. so, I plan to read the manuals, etc.

3. to breastfeed for a year. I've nursed Cate for 4 months and besides being a time suck-pun intended-it's easy. 

4. to get my finances in order. Recently I discovered how much we overspend on monthly expenses. I almost switched my office AT&T service to vonage, but wouldn't you know when I called At&T and my phone bill was cut in half. It went from $300. to $150. I almost left on principal, but then I remembered how expenisve principals are. Next I cancelled our landscapers. They spent a whoping 20 minutes at our house supposedly blowing the leaves off of our yard and the deck.They do that twice a month for $180.00. That's more per hour than I charge my clients as an attorney. Next, I am going to join our insurance policies, and see if I can't cut our landline phone bill down. We barely use it. And why in G-d's name do we pay $90.00 for basic cable. Plus $60.00 for wireless?!?! Insanity I tell you. I welcome any other ideas.

The following are sort of secondary goals that will hopefully be just icing on the cake.

-to continue last year's green efforts.

-to live every second. even if that means listening to my body's request for more rest. that means more sewing, more outings , exercise, eating better, and even less couch time.

-to continue reading a book at least a book a month. Last year I read more than twelve, but that was when I slept at night.

-no apologies for my decisions. (one that you might hate me for is forthcoming.)

What are yours?

Do you think you can stick to them?

Did you achieve last year's?

spill. jealous minds want to know.

a happy day indeed.

One year ago two lines showed up on a pregnancy test and I turned 33. Though, I knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t work. That no way would those two little lines turn into a little baby. Two weeks later I went to an ultrasound that confirmed that. A little one created those two lines, but the ‘yolk sac’ too small to turn it into something. See, I thought, I knew it. This will end just like it has. Four times over.My mom picked me up on this day a year ago to take me to breakfast. While I told her of the two lines I forbade her, kindly, to speak of it. I didn’t even bother to tell k. Why get his hopes up that those silly little lines might turn into a long awaited hope? Today, a year later, a little blessing, Catherine Annalis, is alive and well. If existing on very little sleep. Hey, me too!

My mom is not coming to get me to take me to breakfast. I am meeting her, Cate in tow, because this year I need a car seat.

It goes without saying that this is by far the best birthday. Ever.

cate's corner. one infant's assessment of the holidays.

well, I guess if I had to give the holiday season a grade, I’d give it an A-. The season began with me finally being able to ‘see’ (literally, remember I’m an infant) my cousins. Seriously, those kids are CUTE. My cousin, little boy c, makes me smile and coo. He makes these insane faces. My parents to get all cute with these semi-entertaining faces but compared to little boy c, all I can say is “yaaaaawwwwnnnnn.” And my cousin re-re loves Cate. She feels bad for me when my pacy falls out that she finds it and gives it to me. Though, since she is only 15 months old she thinks it goes on my forehead. Which, when you desperately want your pacy you end up biting the air which only further confuses your cousin. And makes your parents chuckle. Yeah, real funny. We’ll see who’s laughing at 2:30 in the morning.

My mom talked and talked about some man named Santa who brings good kids like me presents. I am somewhat pro-present but mostly I just like to chew on my hands and drink milk. He was huge and wearing some freaky twine thing on his head that hypnotized Cate. Though maybe it was his soft coat.

Then my mom took me to see some big green guy called the Grinch. I liked the story, but when mom put me in his arms, it was unsettling to say the least. Mom and her photo opps make me fussy. All the bright lights and hoopla is a lot for this four month old.

My mom showed up one day with a “Peek A Boo Christmas Book.” I found it slightly entertaining, if repetitive, the first few times with its “where is the Santa…. here he is…” All was fine and well until the snowman. Mom, oblivious to the harm that wait, read” where is the snow man?” with that “There he is!!!” he was lying in wait behind a flap. Before I knew it, Cate realized that this snowman WANTED TO EAT CATE. Terrifying people. Terrifying. Mom, being clearly ignorant of this snowman’s wryly ways did the same thing the next day. Again, the snowman TRIED TO EAT CATE. The snowman, as only someone who EATS CATES could be, is one scary white wet guy. Don’t let his corn pipe nose and two button eyes trick you.

Santa brought me a pig called Olivia who kisses me a lot. When I cry in the car seat she dances all around. I try to keep crying but sometimes she is so sweet and generous with her kisses that I accidentally smile. Then I remember that I am very unhappy and need to be screaming.

All in all, I liked my cousins, the big red guy and my new friend Olivia the Pig. And as long as the snowman WHO EATS INFANTS stays tucked away in the book basket, I look forward to the New Year. My new year’s resolution? To sit up and try to get dad to sleep with me in the glider every night.

don't steal christmas mr. grinch!!! (wordless wednesday)

and an explanation as to my absence.

i live in exhaustion land. i don't know if it is that i never stopped to recover after my traumatic c-section. or that i keep getting sick. or that i am caring for an infant. while working. and the holidays. but i am.so.tired and beat down. what little energy i muster i spend on cate.

until last week i read your posts and just skimped on commenting. now, not even that. i apologize.though i always think of you guys. so much so that i wonder about my sanity. is it odd for your closest friends to be virtual? for now, i must sleep. cope. try to keep my eyes open to be the best mom i can to cate.

seriously, how.freakin.cute. are these pictures?

for now, i am focusing on resting.

xoxo

We love you Santa! Cate and cousins.

 

 

i would LOVE to know what cate is thinkingg. Especially in the picture where she is looking at Santa. Any ideas?

with a bottom like that, it's gotta be cloth.

Cloth diapers rock. They are cute, cost effective and environmentally savvy. 

I knew we would use cloth before we even got pregnant. Because well when it takes YEARS you find time on your hands.

When it finally happened I read a few articles about cloth diapering and talked to the parents we knew. Everyone in real life thought we were insane.  We were told that they would be messy, hard to wash, wouldn't keep baby dry and would, in general, be annoying to use.

We were also told that disposables were just as environmentally savvy as cloth. Because you have to use water to wash cloth. Which, not surprisingly, research does not bear out.  Sure, *some * disposables are 'biodegradable,' but since ours would not go into a mile-high compost in the back yard, but into a trashcan a later a landfill, I am thinking all those biodegradable diapers sure would make a big pile. Plus, a day's worth of diapers is half a load of laundry and with a newborn, you do laundry everyday anyway.

We chose to use bumgenius 3.0 pocket diapers because she did. ('she' is a long time internet buddy who is even more anal retentive than myself and had already done 1000 hours of cloth diaper research I would have done). There are all kinds of cloth diapers and most are pretty good, some are awful, and these are great.

At first, because newborns have to be changed every 4.5 seconds, washing them was obnoxious. So, we spent another $70.00 and bought 6 more. Now, if we wanted we could go three days without washing any. In fact, we just used all cloth for a weekend trip and all went well.

Cloth is cost-effective. We probably spent $500.00 or so on diapers to get started. But we won’t spend more because they are reusable. We could use them and will, god or the universe willing, for another child. We figured out that we would have spent about that during the first few months of diapers were we using sposies. And these diapers grow with Cate, so that we won’t have to buy different sizes.

Cloth is so good for Cate. These diapers keep her very dry. I have to take them off to see if they are wet, because it's hard to tell from just feeling the inside of it. And get this? Cate has NEVER had diaper rash. Plus, like her father, she has sensitive skin, so I can wash these with organic as possible detergent, and know that her bum is exposed to as little as possible chemicals.

So, that's all. We like cloth diapers. All the warnings we got didn't bear fruit. And that's a great thing for the environment and cute butts everywhere.

(these are random pictures i have on the computer).